(Intermittent Transmission of a Wandering Mind)
-Logue
This is where dispatches from my ongoing peculiarities will appear.
Updates, artwork, mild revelations, and the occasional useful scrap. A space for thoughts to stretch, stammer, or shimmer. Expect stories, sketches, reflections, and the occasional something that isn’t quite sure what it is yet. Frequency may vary. Clarity is not guaranteed. Proceed gently. Do not tap the glass. The specimens may be watching you too.
The Story of Soggy Toast....in Ten Parts...Part Seven
Part Seven: Being Windy like a Peanut
It has come to my attention recently that many cities across the states now take part in what can best be described as a Zombie Mob Day. A day where hundreds of people dress as zombies and wander the streets as if the rapture were happening now.
There is a part of me that really wants to support and possibly participate in such events, seeing as how the idea of the living dead has always been one of my favorite horror/creature subjects, and the wave of excitement that comes over me thinking about how finally the idea of zombies are becoming more widely accepted as a genre all it's own, thanks to such films as 28 Day Later (not entirely zombies, I know) and the, in my opinion, brilliant rethinking of Romero's Dawn of the Dead, as well as from Max Brook's books The Zombie Survival Guide and World War Z. But, at the same time, I almost feel as if I might be the only one who sees the dangers in such acceptance and with such events as the Zombie Mobs taking place.
One of the main reasons, in my opinion, to document and study the history of mankind and societies in general, is to learn from it. In other words, to learn from past mistakes. As individuals we are able to do this almost unfailingly. Hit a baby with a taser gun every time it tries to pet the salivating dog and eventually it'll stop trying, and most likely grow up with an unbelievable fear and hatred of dogs....but that's just a funny side effect.
As a collective we seem almost unable to do this. Hit a group of babies with a taser gun every time one tries to pet the dog and they'll blame one another, try to ban heavy metal and video games, but they'll keep trying to pet that damn dog! And will someone stop ringing that fucking bell?!!
Now, to bring this back to the subject of Zombie Mobs I'll give you all a few examples of where we should have learned better. First, Halloween....which gave people born with the condition known as "Rubber Face Syndrome", or as I like to call it, "Soup Face", a day that they could come out and mingle relatively free from blatant stares and persecution. The second, Mardi Gras....which introduced topless dancers into polite society.
And while both of these examples are relatively free of serious society altering side effects, they should at least give people pause to think about what could possibly happen when the undead feel free to join the masses of the living. I mean, just think about the number of people, in Florida especially but in other states as well, that had already been dead for sometime but still managed to vote for Bush in the past two elections!
Next I plan to combat the Tooth Fairy, who's very concept introduces children to prostitution by teaching them that it's not only ok but easy to sell your body for money.
It has come to my attention recently that many cities across the states now take part in what can best be described as a Zombie Mob Day. A day where hundreds of people dress as zombies and wander the streets as if the rapture were happening now.
There is a part of me that really wants to support and possibly participate in such events, seeing as how the idea of the living dead has always been one of my favorite horror/creature subjects, and the wave of excitement that comes over me thinking about how finally the idea of zombies are becoming more widely accepted as a genre all it's own, thanks to such films as 28 Day Later (not entirely zombies, I know) and the, in my opinion, brilliant rethinking of Romero's Dawn of the Dead, as well as from Max Brook's books The Zombie Survival Guide and World War Z. But, at the same time, I almost feel as if I might be the only one who sees the dangers in such acceptance and with such events as the Zombie Mobs taking place.
One of the main reasons, in my opinion, to document and study the history of mankind and societies in general, is to learn from it. In other words, to learn from past mistakes. As individuals we are able to do this almost unfailingly. Hit a baby with a taser gun every time it tries to pet the salivating dog and eventually it'll stop trying, and most likely grow up with an unbelievable fear and hatred of dogs....but that's just a funny side effect.
As a collective we seem almost unable to do this. Hit a group of babies with a taser gun every time one tries to pet the dog and they'll blame one another, try to ban heavy metal and video games, but they'll keep trying to pet that damn dog! And will someone stop ringing that fucking bell?!!
Now, to bring this back to the subject of Zombie Mobs I'll give you all a few examples of where we should have learned better. First, Halloween....which gave people born with the condition known as "Rubber Face Syndrome", or as I like to call it, "Soup Face", a day that they could come out and mingle relatively free from blatant stares and persecution. The second, Mardi Gras....which introduced topless dancers into polite society.
And while both of these examples are relatively free of serious society altering side effects, they should at least give people pause to think about what could possibly happen when the undead feel free to join the masses of the living. I mean, just think about the number of people, in Florida especially but in other states as well, that had already been dead for sometime but still managed to vote for Bush in the past two elections!
Next I plan to combat the Tooth Fairy, who's very concept introduces children to prostitution by teaching them that it's not only ok but easy to sell your body for money.
The Story of Soggy Toast....in Ten Parts...Part Six
Part Six: the Sounds from Behind the Toilet
...In which we find our hero duct taped to a wall of the room filled with flesh eating eels. Will he survive? Stay tuned and find out.
The Story of Soggy Toast....in Ten Parts...Part Five
Part Five: Closed on Account of being Soiled
I have received many messages from readers on the fact that I should make more lists of things like I did in the earlier stages of blogging. As you can tell from previous blogs, I'm trying to do just that. So get the fuck off my back about it!!
I also have received several requests to bring back the "Guess what Clint's Listening to Now?!" topic. Seeing as I have not been living in an apartment below Clint for a year now, this subject seemed moot. But still, I suppose I enjoy the idea of still trying to guess.
So, here are my guesses as to what Clint is listening to right now:
- A nice piece of progressive rock, circa 1977 or thereabouts.
- Dogs barking at nothing, and barking, and barking, and barking.
- The sounds of Bleach, as only his ears can detect.
- His redneck neighbors plot his demise.
Please feel free to add your own guesses to the list. The closest guess will win a used wetnap and the scorn of the Allen. Clint Allen and those related to Clint Allen are not only eligible, but required to submit guesses. A sandwich is only considered a sandwich when two or more slices of bread are involved. Folding the bread in half over it's contents does not make it a sandwich, but rather a sad looking mock hotdog type thing. That has really nothing to do with this post, it's just from a drunken argument I had once.
I have received many messages from readers on the fact that I should make more lists of things like I did in the earlier stages of blogging. As you can tell from previous blogs, I'm trying to do just that. So get the fuck off my back about it!!
I also have received several requests to bring back the "Guess what Clint's Listening to Now?!" topic. Seeing as I have not been living in an apartment below Clint for a year now, this subject seemed moot. But still, I suppose I enjoy the idea of still trying to guess.
So, here are my guesses as to what Clint is listening to right now:
- A nice piece of progressive rock, circa 1977 or thereabouts.
- Dogs barking at nothing, and barking, and barking, and barking.
- The sounds of Bleach, as only his ears can detect.
- His redneck neighbors plot his demise.
Please feel free to add your own guesses to the list. The closest guess will win a used wetnap and the scorn of the Allen. Clint Allen and those related to Clint Allen are not only eligible, but required to submit guesses. A sandwich is only considered a sandwich when two or more slices of bread are involved. Folding the bread in half over it's contents does not make it a sandwich, but rather a sad looking mock hotdog type thing. That has really nothing to do with this post, it's just from a drunken argument I had once.
The Story of Soggy Toast....in Ten Parts...Part Four
I have been asked several times over the past year when I'm going to move back to Louisville. In all honesty, I can't get mad at this question due to the fact that it's because I have attempted to move away three other times from that spider's web of a town, each time returning to it in just about a years time. Granted, two of the attempts landed me in Iowa, and the other, in State College PA.....so, I can't really be blamed for going back.
And, in truth, I loved Louisville. I wouldn't have moved back constantly or stayed for the amount of time there, had I not loved that place. The area is absolutely beautiful. The city has a great history that can still be felt in the old buildings of downtown and Old Louisville area. I have met and friended some of the most creative, unique and intelligent people there....and even though it's near, Louisville is not Indiana.
But, even that being said, I knew for a long time that I needed to move from there, but allowed myself to get stuck in what was basically an unhealthy situation. This is a hard subject to explain, but the just of it is that the bad started to outweigh the good for me there.
Anyone reading this who has moved around while growing up, or who has traveled enough I'm sure will agree that almost everywhere that you go in the U.S., things stay basically the same. The cities usually have the same problems with zoning, crime, racial tensions. There is always that group of people at the bar that says there is never anything to do in this town. The local radio station has that guy who is the morning commute madman dj, and the local weather interrupts your favorite show to let you know that it might sprinkle fifty miles from where you are. There are just as many constant good points, but listing the bad are always more fun. But, underneath all of this is what makes every place that you go in the states slightly different....even more so than geography. For lack of a better term, let's say that this is the town or city's attitude. This is the feeling that you get somewhere that differentiates it from everywhere else that you've been. It is the feeling spurred on by the people that you know, meet, interact with. It is even there with you when you are watching the local television, listening to local radio, or even when you find yourself totally alone.
Let's just say that for me, the attitude that I attributed with Louisville had for years become almost unbearable.
Once that starts to happen you begin to notice the other things about an area that you consider negative. Like I said before, Louisville contains some of the most intelligent, creative people that I have ever been fortunate enough to meet. I have also said that Louisville is a spider's web. Most of those people will never actually do anything with their talent or dreams. Louisville is a very very easy place to live in, which makes it also a very hard place to leave or get beyond. In my opinion, I'd have to say that at least 90% of anyone worth a damn in that town will never accomplish anything. Hell, most of the successful artists, musicians and writer's you hear of from Louisville are people that have come from there, only being noticed after having left. It is a very rare thing for one to become successful while staying there.
It's true that every so often there is an attempt to revive the artistic culture within the town, and while these attempts are valiant, they more often than not turn into nothing more than gatherings of wine drinking squishy peoples who spend their time talking shit on those who happened not to be present at the time, only to act like their best friends upon encountering them later. Not only that, but I have watched the great music scene slowly dwindle to the point of closet dust over the years....so much so that touring bands won't hardly even consider Louisville for a resting point. Hell, even Dave Chappel vowed that he would never return to the city due to the lack of respect he was shown during his show there.
Honestly, I'm not trying to offend anyone with this post, it's more of an explanation of why I left and why my answer to the questions of when I will be moving back is, never. I do miss Louisville. I miss my close friends, the large trees and beautiful architecture. I miss the feeling of inspiration that I originally felt upon moving there. I miss the comfortable feeling of knowing my surroundings like my own skin and not being able to walk a whole block without running into a friend. I miss the Bristol (the old haunt) and their Green Chili Wantons. I miss Chai at Highland Coffee and being able to walk anywhere that I needed to get to.
But, I don't miss any of this enough to want to live there again.
Despite all of this, I am still a fan of Louisville. I lived in that city for longer than anyplace else my entire life, and for that reason I will always consider it my home town, that and also because Kansas City won't let me consider it for that due to the fact that I'm not a fan of Bar B Que.
I only hate Louisville about 10%.
And, in truth, I loved Louisville. I wouldn't have moved back constantly or stayed for the amount of time there, had I not loved that place. The area is absolutely beautiful. The city has a great history that can still be felt in the old buildings of downtown and Old Louisville area. I have met and friended some of the most creative, unique and intelligent people there....and even though it's near, Louisville is not Indiana.
But, even that being said, I knew for a long time that I needed to move from there, but allowed myself to get stuck in what was basically an unhealthy situation. This is a hard subject to explain, but the just of it is that the bad started to outweigh the good for me there.
Anyone reading this who has moved around while growing up, or who has traveled enough I'm sure will agree that almost everywhere that you go in the U.S., things stay basically the same. The cities usually have the same problems with zoning, crime, racial tensions. There is always that group of people at the bar that says there is never anything to do in this town. The local radio station has that guy who is the morning commute madman dj, and the local weather interrupts your favorite show to let you know that it might sprinkle fifty miles from where you are. There are just as many constant good points, but listing the bad are always more fun. But, underneath all of this is what makes every place that you go in the states slightly different....even more so than geography. For lack of a better term, let's say that this is the town or city's attitude. This is the feeling that you get somewhere that differentiates it from everywhere else that you've been. It is the feeling spurred on by the people that you know, meet, interact with. It is even there with you when you are watching the local television, listening to local radio, or even when you find yourself totally alone.
Let's just say that for me, the attitude that I attributed with Louisville had for years become almost unbearable.
Once that starts to happen you begin to notice the other things about an area that you consider negative. Like I said before, Louisville contains some of the most intelligent, creative people that I have ever been fortunate enough to meet. I have also said that Louisville is a spider's web. Most of those people will never actually do anything with their talent or dreams. Louisville is a very very easy place to live in, which makes it also a very hard place to leave or get beyond. In my opinion, I'd have to say that at least 90% of anyone worth a damn in that town will never accomplish anything. Hell, most of the successful artists, musicians and writer's you hear of from Louisville are people that have come from there, only being noticed after having left. It is a very rare thing for one to become successful while staying there.
It's true that every so often there is an attempt to revive the artistic culture within the town, and while these attempts are valiant, they more often than not turn into nothing more than gatherings of wine drinking squishy peoples who spend their time talking shit on those who happened not to be present at the time, only to act like their best friends upon encountering them later. Not only that, but I have watched the great music scene slowly dwindle to the point of closet dust over the years....so much so that touring bands won't hardly even consider Louisville for a resting point. Hell, even Dave Chappel vowed that he would never return to the city due to the lack of respect he was shown during his show there.
Honestly, I'm not trying to offend anyone with this post, it's more of an explanation of why I left and why my answer to the questions of when I will be moving back is, never. I do miss Louisville. I miss my close friends, the large trees and beautiful architecture. I miss the feeling of inspiration that I originally felt upon moving there. I miss the comfortable feeling of knowing my surroundings like my own skin and not being able to walk a whole block without running into a friend. I miss the Bristol (the old haunt) and their Green Chili Wantons. I miss Chai at Highland Coffee and being able to walk anywhere that I needed to get to.
But, I don't miss any of this enough to want to live there again.
Despite all of this, I am still a fan of Louisville. I lived in that city for longer than anyplace else my entire life, and for that reason I will always consider it my home town, that and also because Kansas City won't let me consider it for that due to the fact that I'm not a fan of Bar B Que.
I only hate Louisville about 10%.
The Story of Soggy Toast....in Ten Parts...Part Three
Part Three: the Lonely Sandbag with a Leak
Here are some random, completely untrue facts about the new state that I have decided to call home:
- Colorado is both the 38th as well as the 43rd state of the United States.....it makes sense if you accept the fact that Idaho doesn't really exist.
- The state bird is the groundhog.
- Colorado is home to the highest population of nocturnal randomly howling dogs.
- Colorado and Kansas have been at war since 1861, but the Colorado Militia hasn't led an offensive for over a hundred years due to the fact that Kansas is so unorganized, they keep attacking themselves.
- Shuffleboard is outlawed in Denver.
- Not being smug is outlawed in Boulder.
- The state bird is the Mexican.
- The Rocky Mountains were originally named the 'Lenny Mountains', until Lenny got flattened by a rock.
- Colorado has the highest percentage of stolen American Flags in the states.
- Colorado has the second highest number of hacky sack related deaths, second only to Indiana of all places.....but that's probably because Indiana's state motto is "kill the hippies".
- Colorado is home to what is known as "the Most Unsuccessful Sea-Port in the World".
- The state bird is Bob Denver.
- About 34% of all Coloradans are not in the other 66% in this poll alone.
- The rain never makes it to the ground in Colorado. EVER!
- Denver has the third highest population of Emo kids, who buy their depression from Hot Topic.
- Just like every other state, Colorado is the birthplace of the cheeseburger, which is a bragging right I've always wondered about.
- Colorado is the home and headquarters for the Society of Cannibals against Rational Thought.....or P.E.T.A. for short.
- Four out of every three Coloradans believe in unicorns, whether they admit it or not.
- Greeting someone is considered 'foreplay' in Fort Collins.
- Colorado's state motto is "at Least We're Not Montana"....which is also the same state motto for Nevada.
...and that's enough for now. I will most definitely have more fun and completely untrue facts to share with you as the future unfolds for me in my new surroundings.
Here are some random, completely untrue facts about the new state that I have decided to call home:
- Colorado is both the 38th as well as the 43rd state of the United States.....it makes sense if you accept the fact that Idaho doesn't really exist.
- The state bird is the groundhog.
- Colorado is home to the highest population of nocturnal randomly howling dogs.
- Colorado and Kansas have been at war since 1861, but the Colorado Militia hasn't led an offensive for over a hundred years due to the fact that Kansas is so unorganized, they keep attacking themselves.
- Shuffleboard is outlawed in Denver.
- Not being smug is outlawed in Boulder.
- The state bird is the Mexican.
- The Rocky Mountains were originally named the 'Lenny Mountains', until Lenny got flattened by a rock.
- Colorado has the highest percentage of stolen American Flags in the states.
- Colorado has the second highest number of hacky sack related deaths, second only to Indiana of all places.....but that's probably because Indiana's state motto is "kill the hippies".
- Colorado is home to what is known as "the Most Unsuccessful Sea-Port in the World".
- The state bird is Bob Denver.
- About 34% of all Coloradans are not in the other 66% in this poll alone.
- The rain never makes it to the ground in Colorado. EVER!
- Denver has the third highest population of Emo kids, who buy their depression from Hot Topic.
- Just like every other state, Colorado is the birthplace of the cheeseburger, which is a bragging right I've always wondered about.
- Colorado is the home and headquarters for the Society of Cannibals against Rational Thought.....or P.E.T.A. for short.
- Four out of every three Coloradans believe in unicorns, whether they admit it or not.
- Greeting someone is considered 'foreplay' in Fort Collins.
- Colorado's state motto is "at Least We're Not Montana"....which is also the same state motto for Nevada.
...and that's enough for now. I will most definitely have more fun and completely untrue facts to share with you as the future unfolds for me in my new surroundings.