Pubic Hairs in the Butter Dish.....

I am a terrible person. I have an odor that is close to that of cheese that has been sitting in the side of your sink, slowly becoming rubbery and refusing day after day to be flushed down with the tidal of hot water. I have been known to think about scratching children's eyes out with claws that nature never seemed fit to gift me with. I sneeze at unattended sandwiches. Sometimes I laugh maniacally when I make a poop.

I am a terrible person. I refuse to shower every single day. I agreed with a girlfriend over and over that Yes, that outfit made her look fat, mainly because I was tired of hearing the question.....and because that outfit DID make her look fat. I hate squirrels. Sometimes I do things for no other reasons than I was told NOT to do them.

In this blog post, I am a terrible person due to the fact that I have remained absent for so long. Yes, I keep threatening to return to my postings about pubic hair in the butter dishes, or whatever mindless things it is I write about after my fifteenth cup of coffee (I'm only on my 4th right now, and still somewhat lucid), but as of yet I have obviously not come through with such threats. I am a terrible person.

I am a terrible person, also, for the added bonus of being awful at keeping in touch with people. Not only have I avoided blogging, but I have put off responding to those who have contacted me with wellwishes as well as threats. In all honesty, the original excuse still holds, that being the one where I say that I have no internet access of my own yet and am at the mercy of walking my gear down to the coffee house to make outside contact.....but in all honesty, even I am growing sick of that one. I have half a mind to write myself an angry letter asking myself what the hell my problem is and why don't I speed the process up and was it me who sneezed on my sandwich making me sick last week?! But I know better than to write such a letter....I know I won't respond to it. I am a terrible person.

So, I will take this opportunity to extend yet again the same promise, that I will soon get my office up and running here in the near future and update you all on why I love Denver, why I hate squirrels, and what I've been working on........ect.

I hope everyone is well, and by well I mean 'not dead' and not Canadian'.

I am Not Quite Killed in the Face Just Yet......and the Regional Vagina

"Have you gotten any of that Colorado pussy yet?"
I've heard this question far more than I would like to admit, seeing as just once is already way too much. Have I gotten any of that Colorado pussy? Honestly, I wasn't even aware that the female anatomy was prone to geography (barring Asian Vagina, which everyone knows is sideways) and find myself wondering what makes Colorado pussy, Colorado pussy.
"Have you gotten any of that Colorado pussy yet?"
This question usually comes from either my uncle or my uncle's close male friends (and one lesbian friend). No, I have to admit.
"Well, what the hell is the matter? If I was your age I'd be knee deep in it!" (or some variation on the same point)....which has led me to the realization that as you age you slowly become delusional! The thought that being my age would mean that I should be beating the women away with a hatchet or something, or that I could find myself in the mood and just open my door and point, "You and you, now!"
Or that as I get older I might be more prone to seriously give up on being somewhat human and just objectify women entirely. "I used to like good company, but now I just like the 'box'"......
"Have you gotten any of that Colorado pussy yet?"
No, sorry....I'm still hung up on that Nebraska Cock.


Ok, enough of that.
So, I sincerely had the good intentions of writing this here update yesterday, but got sidetracked by more desk building fun and errands.
Here's the quick summary. I have finally moved into my own place in what is known as the Wash Park neighborhood. I had absolutely no furniture so I've been in the process of refurnishing my life, with a combination of new and built items (one of the built items happens to be my replacement desk, which has taken upon itself to slowly kill me.....no really! I awoke to it strangling me the other night!). I have been taking pictures of the process and plan to share them soon, when I get more than a few minutes of internet and can resize and upload them and all that crap. Bah! I need to get my desk done and my own internet. Bah!

As many of you have asked, yes that was me in the zombie outfit from the last post. To unwind from the crazy schedule of work, working, moving and what not, I spent Halloween dressed as the zombie vagrant and walked around Denver looking for change or brains.....I got neither. My brother followed me to take some pics of the experience:

Coincidentally, my brother and I have decided to make this a pet project of ours. He plans to dress as Darth Vader next and pan handle......maybe we'll make a coffee table book of such things? Hmmmmm.

As for right now, I'm going to try to catch up on the month and a half of messages that I have yet to answer and then pack up and head for the new home.

I am Not Quite Killed in the Face Just Yet......or Yet.......Part 3

Alright damnit! Honestly, I had intended on writing a long blog giving you all the rundown of what's been going on since last I wrote, but I still don't have an internet connection of my own and the coffee house that I'm currently at will be closing in just a bit, so I'm forced to leave you with this small image:

I will try to write a real post tomorrow at some point, seeing as I finally have a day off....Weeeeeeeeeee!
Until then, I hope this blog finds you all well, unless you are Billy Donald......suck it Billy!! You bitch!

I am Not Quite Killed in the Face Just Yet......or Yet.......Part 2

Alright, so I'll try to write a little more.............there, I did.

I am Not Quite Killed in the Face Just Yet......or Yet.......

First of all, let me take this opportunity to apologize to everyone other than Billy Donald for being away for so long. I have so many emails to respond to, blogs to catch up reading, showers to take....that I don't even know where to start..........so I won't! Ha! Goodbye!